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Last Updated: Wednesday, 31 August 2005, 16:21 GMT 17:21 UK Iraq - a shit place to live Iraqis find ever more imaginative ways to kill each other Opinions of various idiots Chaos in Baghdad again Stampede images You are a racist Our simple 11-point guide to why you are a racist or discriminatory in some other shameful way Michael Howard eats baby The Conservative party are all evil OTHER TOP STORIES Speeding motorists to be killed 9/10 people back ban on fun Wetherspoon's bans alcohol £1000 fines for farting Reasons why Tony Blair is ace Microsoft launches airline Tributes mark death of hamster ALSO IN THE NEWS Dog's disinfectant urine harnessed by the wonderful NHS God of our time Man paid £millions to kick ball for 1 hour per week In pictures Something very boring More global warming Stop doing anything or we'll all die!! Picturing grief Children's impressions a year after ice-cream crisis AROUND THE WORLD NOW AFRICA Still poor and it's all your fault ASIA-PACIFIC China soon to be our masters AMERICAS Brazil begins shooting 'suspicious' Londoners EUROPE France boycotts British everything MIDDLE EAST Yet more bombings- all your fault SOUTH ASIA DTI to be outsourced to India AROUND THE UK NOW ENGLAND Man killed by evil car NORTHERN IRELAND Police to be sacked as IRA given control SCOTLAND Whisky shortage causes crisis WALES Baby faces jail for giggling in public MORE FROM BBC NEWS BUSINESS Oil prices hit £1,000,000 /barrel POLITICS Vote Labour or die HEALTH BMA proposes ban on tap water EDUCATION Teachers welcome plans to lobotomise students SCIENCE/NATURE Environmentists ranting TECHNOLOGY Apple- fashionably shit ENTERTAINMENT George bush speech in full HAVE YOUR SAY Are you a tosser with nothing better to do than write to us? Healing powers Quack medicine approved by govt. Screen stars Crappy feature about 1930's actresses BBC NEWS: VIDEO AND AUDIO Fat woman talks bollocks BBC One O'Clock News Watch a summary 1997: Dog bites man Hundreds remember horror Select a city: Aberdeen Aberystwyth Belfast Birmingham Bradford Bristol Cardiff Eastbourne Edinburgh Exeter Glasgow Hull Inverness Ipswich Jersey Leeds Lincoln Liverpool London Manchester Margate Newcastle Newquay Norwich Nottingham Oxford Perth Plymouth Salisbury Sheffield Southampton York

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